Discoveries
by Princess Twilite
Summary: Sequel to "Blossoming". Giles/Anya Pairing. Please R&R, thanks!


Title: Discoveries In Twilight

Author: Princess Twilite [Princesstwilite2@aol.com]

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Sequel to - "Blossoming". 

Pairing: Giles/Anya

Distribution: Magic Man, Untamed Desires, Twilite's Whip, USCL, Wish I Could Stay - and well… anyone else that WANTS it. Just tell me about it, so I can check out the site that it's going on.

Website: http://thatvisionthing.org/whip [Twilite's Whip]

Author's Note: Thanks to all the wonderful feedback for my last G/A story, I've gained enough confidence to write another one. We'll see how it goes. J

The previous story is at http://thatvisionthing.org/whip/blossom.html

---------

" Hmmph."

Anya stirred beside him, raising a hand to cover her yawn. "What?"

" I can't seem to understand…" Giles shifted beside her on the couch, leaning his chin against his open palm. When they'd gotten to his home, Anya had grabbed his jacket from him and thrown it, kicking off her own shoes so they went in some unseen direction. Giles had discreetly grabbed his coat, and hung it up in the closet while she jabbed buttons on the VCR.

" When you said this VCR was rusty, you weren't kidding were you?" She had asked, looking at him with the blue television light lapping at the edges of her face.

Giles had cleared his throat. " No. Um - you have to…" He'd moved near her, put his arm around her so he could reach the button on the far side of the tape player. It wasn't his fault his palm had brushed over the warm, bare skin of her shoulder. After all, he was a gentleman and would **never** take… crumbs. She took a slow, deep breath beside him. "Do that."

" Oh. Thank you." But he hadn't been able to gauge her voice, and had left her fast forwarding through the previews of the movie while he searched the kitchen for something reasonable to eat. Just because he was refined, didn't take away the fact that he was a bachelor.

Now, they sat on opposite sides of the over stuffed cushions, Anya with her feet curled up beneath her, Giles leaning against the side arm. 

" What?" Anya said again - rolling her head in his direction, bringing him out of his thoughts. He glanced toward her, tried not to note the way her eyes reflected him, the way her lips set in a tired line of satisfaction. Just waiting…. For something he wouldn't be giving them. Sure, he'd come nearly close to understanding these insane feelings, that didn't mean he was going to act on them any time soon.

Friendship, just talking with her - even when she was at her most brutal - seemed to be enough.

" I just - can't seem to grasp why he's not doing anything about his feelings…" Her shirt gaped slightly when she stretched her arms out, and a spot of creamy flesh was revealed. Giles couldn't help but glance, before tearing his eyes away. " She's… willing." He told her, aware of the moon in the window behind them, watching. Guiltily he mopped a hand over his face.

" I know what you mean." She sighed, bringing her feet out from beneath her and stretching them out before her, the dainty nails painted a plum color that made her toes look ripe and… well, cute.

" Do you?" He asked her, eyes on the t.v. screen where … _Josh Hartnett?_ Wasn't it? Where that boy tried his hardest not to give in to his admittedly exuberant desires.

" I've always figured, if you want something - take it. It might not be there tommorow."

Something sunk inside of him at her words. Right straight down to his toes and they flinched inside his socks.

I suppose that clears up that little hope that she wants me… 

" But I'm learning that doesn't work anymore. You don't always get what you want…" She continued, but her eyes were going far away, and he didn't like to see that distant look in them. He wanted her with _him_, not off thinking of… He swallowed hard, and reached over, pushing her hair away from her face with a gentle hand. 

" You don't have to hide from me." He told her, and then realized what it sounded like and took his fingers away. " I mean, we can be friends, you know. The world wouldn't end - if you decided to take me into confidence."

Anya looked away - out to where the light flickered slowly in the kitchen. She seemed uncomfortable for a moment before visibly shaking it off.

" No. It's nothing like that - I just worry - and I don't like to."

" About?" He pushed, sliding a little closer to her. He could do this, be her friend. She looked up at him with wide eyes, not innocent - but real.

" Me. Xander. Buffy. Willow. You." She quirked her lips a little. " Mostly me."

" You worry about me?" Then when she didn't answer. " Why do you worry about everyone? About yourself?"

" Let's watch the movie." She said, and pressed her head against his shoulder. He froze for a moment, a solid block of ice beneath the feel of her hot cheek - the warmth of her seeping through his sweater. And then something began to melt inside him, and he sighed, leaning back - sliding an arm over the back of the couch. Not touching her, but close enough to feel the hair on her arm rise against the current of electricity whenever it buzzed through the room.

_Why do you worry?_ He wanted to ask again, but her heart was beating a little hard against his side, so he let it go - settled in beside her, and let the movie lull him into a numb peace. Enough that he almost forgot who was in his arms. It could have been anyone. But it wasn't - and hadn't he said almost?

At the end of the movie, when the credits had begun to roll - he took his glasses off and rubbed his fingers over his eyes. Interesting movie, hadn't been as bad as he'd expected. Although he still considered it a male pubescent relation film, it could have been a lot worse. If it had been any longer.

His arm was asleep, and it felt heavy as he tried to lift it. He turned to ask her if she wanted a ride home, but his mouth was left hanging slightly open. She was curled up against him, eyes shifting in REM, sound asleep. Something constricted inside him, pulled hard at his heart, and a sound so quiet not even he could hear it, hummed through him.

It might have been longing. It might have been love. It might have been both.

_Surely it was gas._

But he didn't dwell on it, merely extracted his arm from around her - tried not to wake her up, but she gripped him tight and hugged him to her like a body pillow, and he was left with the uncomfortable sensation of growing arousal. Chastising himself for it, he tried to push her gently away, but she wasn't getting the hint, only pouting and muttering in her sleep. Obviously, she wasn't used to being denied…

And then she whispered softly, a slow blade rubbing against his heart… "Xander."

He shoved her, not so gently, away from him, tumbling off the couch himself, and banging his head on the coffee table.

"Bloody hell." He whispered furiously, touching his hand to his forehead, watching her fall to the other end of the couch in an ungainly sprawl, still unconscious, a little drool dripping from the side of his mouth. " So much for talking about movies."

He stood over her, trying to wake her up, but she seemed against all appeal, smacking her hands out at him until he had to grip them to keep her from breaking his nose. She wasn't budging. Groaning, he stepped back, put his hands on his hips and considered his options.

He could leave her where she was. And let her wake up with horrendous back pains, and a bitchy attitude that _he_ would have to deal with all day at the store.

He could pick her up, carry her out to his car and bring her home. But the fact was? She hadn't mentioned where she was staying, and he was liable to wind up with a few injuries to his pride and muscles before he could get her home.

Or….

He could carry her upstairs, toss her in his bed and be done with it.

_Make a choice Rupert, no one likes a weak thinker._

Okay, so he'd bring her up to his room, not that he'd lay down with her - but she'd be comfortable and without back pain. Giles lifted her against him, winced a little when her weight played with his own lower back, and brought her up the stairs. She didn't fight him this time, seemed to curl herself around him like a cat, until he was struggling to remember that he wasn't bringing her up the stairs to fulfill a fantasy still living half way in denial.

His room was dark - the moon light only slashing across the bed, where the shuttered blinds couldn't contain it. He laid her on one side of the bed, and then carefully tugged the blankets out from beneath her, then the sheet, before lifting them both up and around her.

Her mouth worked, eyes fluttered, and he held his breath - wondering why his hands were sweating. Not like he was doing anything wrong, and he wasn't a schoolboy - what did he have to worry about? But she didn't wake up, just sighed - sticking her nose into the pillows and breathing deep and even.

Giles backed away slowly, running his hand over his thighs. No way was he going to approach removing her clothes. He had self-control, but it only took him so far. There had been a time, not so long ago - when he wouldn't have thought twice about climbing in beside her and wrapping those elegant limbs of her around his body - about finding those toned, sensitive spots that made her moan and wiggle against the sheets…

But that had been a time when he didn't care about anyone but himself. 

Those times were not now. 

He had people to take care of, people to love and be loved by. And always, and he could never forget this - there was Xander. 

Grimacing, he left the room at last, not glancing back at her prone figure, lying trustfully beneath his sheets.

Downstairs, he fluffed a lumpy pillow on the couch - throwing out the somewhat itchy blanket on the cushions, before locking all the doors, turning off all the lights but for the one over the sink and standing in the dark like a mad figure - haunting the halls.

He thought he heard her breathing.

Yes. It was final. He was going insane.

Giles tried to distract himself, he lay down on the couch, ankles over the edge because it was too short - and he thought about inconsequential things, ranging from the movie they'd watched together - to the sound of the water dripping in the other room, like a slow muted warning of all the bad things he'd done, pressed up against the good.

" Hello." He'd said to the council when he was young and absurd. " I've got what it takes. Just give me a chance to prove it."

And prove it, he had done. He'd become the errand boy of death in a tweed coat. A particularly nasty specimen they needed taking care of? Well, they'd call on him - and it didn't matter what the things crime was - he had high hopes and ambition. He WOULD succeed.

But one day - most likely the day he'd met Buffy, succeeding hadn't seems as important, as saving the world. Being Ripper hadn't been so important as being Giles. Being a friend. 

Down went that little plan of a big house in Eastern Europe. 

But these were not things that brought comfort, and certainly not relief. Considering they all led up to here, to him laying on a lumpy, annoying couch while a woman who he was almost certain he was in love with, slumbered and left her sweat in his bed. _His bed._

" God.." He threw himself on his side, itching his stomach where the blanket irritated. " This cannot be healthy."

A sound from upstairs. Was that a sigh? No, it had to be his imagination. How would he be able to hear it all the way down stairs? Giles found himself staring hard at the ceiling as if he could see straight through it and into her.

" What do you see in him?" He whispered, almost waiting for an answer. He sat up, ripped off his shirt in a burst of aggression that stunned him; before he could reign it back in under his control. But it wouldn't happen just then. He shoved his head into his hands, and tried to calm, but the words came perforce out of his mouth, spilling like over flowing repression. " Why are you in love with him? I love him too - I get that, but he's not good to you… for you." _And I am?_ Nausea swirled up. God - this wasn't working, he couldn't stand being down here. It was too far away. It would have been fine if she left, then she wouldn't have been such an utter temptation on his weary bones.

Carefully - he climbed the stairs, feeling like a horrible coward - but he didn't want her to hear him. Damn it, it was his own home and he was tiptoeing across the chilled milky floors just to get a glimpse of her.

The door creaked when he pushed on it, made his hear pound. _Stop it_, he ordered himself. _She doesn't want you. She practically said so herself, all you're going to do is torture yourself over what you want [shoudn't want] and cannot have_.

She lay still as death - her chest barely moving, though every now and then a muscle would twitch. Deep sleeper, he thought. Another thing to add to the list of just who Anya was. It seemed she slept as honestly as she lived, sprawled across the bed, taking up more than her fair share and snorting every now and then, as if in derision.

To him… she was beautiful. Of course the fact that he'd have to deal with the drool on his pillows in the morning didn't cross his mind, or his opinion might have been something  all together different.

" Why is it?" He asked her. Not bothering to whisper. " That I always end up here? By your side? Even when I didn't realize that it was you I was standing by?"

He realized quickly that he was falling into a cliché and moved away from Anya.

Giles sat in the chair near his closet, spread his legs out before him, and contemplated her. But it was only minutes, before the company of her lulled him into a soundless sleep. 

He did not dream. Not even of her. But slept in the comforting darkness - the scent of her a blanket he pretended not to wear.

---------

Anya woke sometime late in the night - when the moon had changed positions and put it's fingers in her eyes. She must have had a nightmare, because her heart pounded so hard it hurt and she jumped up in bed with her fists raised. But there was no one there to fight, no magic to be used or vengeance to be cast…

Instead she found herself slightly confused. "Xander?" She called softly. Before remembering, and a hateful flush stealing across her cheeks. " Leave me alone." She said to the ghost of those feelings. " You're not part of me anymore."

And then she caught sight of Giles out of the corner of her eye; he lay with his head bent at an odd angle against the chair - his mouth hanging open as he snored not so quietly.

She studied him for a minute, remaining in her crouched position. He was actually a quite beautiful man, with the strong features of the hard minded, the ones who knew too much.

It was a worry of hers that he might end up thinking himself into his own grave. But she didn't worry about it often, she'd lived long enough to have control over her own thoughts.

He must have carried her up here himself. So why was he in the chair? Why not the bed with her or the couch? Either would have been more logical, after all - she didn't bite, and it wasn't likely they were going to jump each other. But no, he sat in the chair, as if he'd been watching over her…

_He is trained in it. Watching._

She came to her decision quickly and didn't hesitate.

"Stupid men." She muttered, getting out of bed and stalking over to Giles sprawled in all ways over the chair. " Always making things difficult. They don't show up on time, won't go away when you don't want them there, or they do something way too considerate and totally forget about themselves…" Sighing she grabbed a hold of his hand. 

_God, he's heavier than he looks._

But eventually, she was able to drag him up until he was half leaning on her - his face landing in her cleavage where he seemed to mutter something about the queen of England.

" Now that's a fantasy I wouldn't have pegged him for." Finally - she half tugged - half dragged him over to the bed and threw him down. He bounced against the cushions, staring up at her drowsily. If he recognized who she was, the little smile on his face didn't tell it, but hinted at a sexual being in Giles that made her uncomfortable. That was not something she wanted to consider him as. It would mean re-evaluating everything she knew about them and taking all that information out of the nice little compartments she had stored it in. And really, she wasn't in the mood to have the rug pulled out from beneath her…

But still - that smile? Gave her pleasant little shivers that she'd probably think about another time, days from now when there was no one around to bug her.

Giles surprised her by grabbing onto her hand and tugging her down on the bed with him. She expected a guy move, because he was half asleep and most likely only knew that she had breasts and something interesting between her thighs, but he only said her name quietly and pulled her into his arms. His warm chest pressed up against her back, his nose into her hair, and a leg draped heavily over hers.

Anya found herself well and truly trapped, and much to her deep shock, not minding at all - in fact, feeling so comfortable that the nightmare of Willow tearing Xanders flesh from his body - dissipated like gray clouds, and she was left with the sensation that something deeper was going on in Sunnydale than she'd imagined… but before she could grab onto even the tail end of such thought - she was fast asleep.

And she, for once, did not dream of Xander. Not even of making him crawl.

If she'd been awake, she might have heard the man beside her whisper, "Love you." Practically mutter it, like he wasn't at all pleased with it. Might even have heard herself grunt, "you too." 

And she would have probably wondered just what the hell she was talking about.

---------

A soft knocking pulled at Giles consciousness, but he couldn't seem to open his eyes. They had a heavy, lethargic feel to them, that made his chest feel lazy and sweet. On the other hand,t here was something tickling his nose so he made himself  reach up and bat his hands at it.

"Ow." A female voice muttered near his ear. Even mostly asleep, he knew who it was. After all, you don't spend day after day with someone, without getting to know their smell, their sound, the way they fit in your arms. Or well, you CAN go without the last, but at that moment, it seemed crazy that anyone would want to.

" Huh." He grunted in reply, grabbing onto her and pulling her close.

" Well now, not that I don't mind a little snuggling in the morning - there's someone at the door…"

" Go back to sleep." He said. Put a hand over her face, refusing to open his eyes and see if she were, but wanting to makes sure they stayed shut. " Please Anya? It's really - very early still."

" Money. Giles. Money." She pushed his hand away from her face and tried to pull out of his embrace but his arms were steel bands around her. " You know? Running of the store? It's not like we can afford to miss the early risers." But he wasn't really listening and it frustrated her. " C'mon lazy bones - wake up!"

Anya poked him in the ribs and he jumped a little, a squeak popping from his lips and his eyes throwing themselves open. She stared at him in shock.

Had Giles just… squeaked? Now that was interesting. 

Carefully - she dug her knuckles in his ribs and he let out a bark of laughter before trying to squirm away from her. But she wouldn't let him, intent on her task as a scientist would be on an experiment.

Besides - this was _Giles_. She would have never guessed him as a light touch, but from the hissy he was throwing, tossing his legs about and trying to push her away - he definitely was. And oh boy, she was **never** gonna let him live it down. Or the fact, that he laughed like a hyenna.

" Now." She said triumphantly, grinning down at his red face. " We're going to get up and go to the Magic Box, and you are going to buy me a café mocha chino so I'll be wide eyed, pretty and get tips." She put her hands on his face as if speaking to a child, her smile was pure rebellion. " Tips are GOOD. Can you say that? G-O-O-D."

He smiled up at her strangely. " Okay. You're match. But," he flipped her onto her back, and suddenly he was leaning over her - and she was looking up at his eyes. There was something there - deep in the shade of his lashes that said more than she was ready to hear. And even with his morning breath - there was a satisfying click inside of her that made her gasp, and maybe even made her slightly afraid, but he wasn't doing anything, just looking down at her like he could fill himself up by staring. And then he'd tucked himself back behind her, the moment passed like smoke, and she blew out her breath.

Was that disappointment? 

" Like I said." His words against her throat, and something stirred inside her. Again, with the strange feelings. _Go away all ready, I'm just getting over one ass hole, I don't need to starting falling for a guy who might hop on a plane any second and leave me alone again. If I'm gonna be alone, it's gonna be by MY choice._ " It's too early. Be a pal and don't wake up for at least another hour."

" Okay." She agreed. " Okay." 

She closed her eyes and felt the vestiges of sleep try and drag her under.

" Isn't this cozy?" A familiar voice said from the door way and had both of them jerking up guiltily away from each other.

" Xander!" Anya said angrily, glaring at him. Xander nodded, and used his, "duh," expression to cut blades through the air. Giles face was pale, but he pushed out of bed. Felt his stomach tighten up so hard it was hitting against his ribs with every step.

" We didn't know you were here." He said, stating the obvious, before realizing how it sounded. " Was that you knocking?"

" Obviously. But maybe you were too busy to answer the door." Xander said, almost in a daze, eyes all for Anya, who was still beneath the covers. " Decide to have a sleep over and not invite me?"

" It's not like that." Giles said quickly, reaching out a hand to touch the young man's shoulder, but he flinched back, and Giles was ashamed enough to drop his hand away.

How do you tell a boy you love like a son, that you've fallen for his ex-fiancé? 

" No?" Xander asked, his heart was in his eyes as surely as a lock of brown hair. The sun light was beginning to blur the room, make it young, golden and hopeful. Ironic. " And why should I believe that? This is the second time I've found her sleeping with someone who is NOT me. Spike…"

" Fuck you." Anya said, getting out of bed and locking her fingers into dangerous fists. Daring him to say another word about loyalty. " It's not like I ever meant anything to you anyway."

" You mean the world to me." Xander said, deathly still - face stretched taught across his cheek bones. " So much it terrified me. It still does." A smile on his face, that was more like an ugly fear. " Good thing, huh. That I found out just how bad we are for each other before I took a walk down the isle."

Silence. Pain. Hurt. Anger. A wave of it pulsed through the room, like dust mites in the morning sun.

Giles felt caught. Between wanting to help Xander win this woman's heart back [but it was Anya, so he couldn't ever really want to], and hiding it from him. _Don't touch her._ He wanted to yell it. _You don't have the right to touch her anymore._

" All I ever meant to you," She raised her fingers, counting off a list as cool as you please, though Giles could feel her heart beating in the wrist he held. " Was quick, easy sex on a regular basis - someone to adore you, and someone to talk down to like your father did your mother."

Xanders face went blank with a cold fury, before he leaned in close to her, sneering.

" Quick, easy sex huh?" She shook her head, not listening.. " I guess that's what Giles here was looking for last night too huh? You sure do get around…"

Before Giles realized what he was doing, his fist snapped out like a snake and cracked against Xanders jaw, knocking him back a step and tossing him into the dresser. A glass vase was knocked over, and it shattered against he wall - staing the pale yellow paint with water and guilt.

Any noise in the room seemed to die as Giles looked down at his knuckles. One shiny spot of blood stood out in stark contrast against his skin. Xander stood up again slowly, as if his spine were made of metal. His voice was angry, but his eyes were two miserable stones, holding him under the water of imagined and not-so-imagined betrayal.

" I get it now." Hard. Spitting. Giles found himself shaking, clutching his fist in his hand. _Don't get it Xander. You don't want to know._

" This is why you've been acting so strange around me lately, why you didn't want to play _love _doctor yesterday." He raised a trembling finger and pointed it at Anya. "You want her for yourself don't you?" Dead on target, straight to the heart - making it shudder in his chest. Giles felt the impact of Xanders words hit Anya - felt her stumble back. He didn't turn around to look at her, couldn't face what might be in her eyes.

" You don't know what you're talking about." He said finally - voice steady and firm, to Xanders tearing up eyes. _Stop this, stop this now._ " Nothing happened here last night."

" It didn't." Anya agreed. " But even if it had, it wouldn't be any of your business."

Xander nodded, backing away and out of the room as if he couldn't keep his feet still and stay there a moment longer.

" You might want to come over to Buffys." He told them. " Willow's having some serious after effects of the magic, and we're not sure what to do."

And then he stopped, turned back to Giles.

" You're in love with her, aren't you?"

In the caught off guard look on Giles face, Xander found his answer. And destroyed, stumbled out of the room.

Slowly - feeling his shoulders crack beneath the weight of the past five minutes, he turned and faced Anya - but couldn't read her eyes because she'd learned to shutter them.

His bedroom seemed a strange place for them now, after Xander's presence in it.

" I apologize." Waved a hand at the rumpled bed sheets. " I'm afraid you staying here last night might have made things more difficult for you. That he might think - "

Anya shook her head, going to the bed and tugging the sheets up, trying to make it and keep her hands busy. But the silence was a tense one, so soon she spun on him.

" Of course. I know you're not lusting after me." Laughed. " Of course you're not."

Giles shook his head, albeit a little awkwardly, chewing on his lips.

"What Xander said…"

" Xander was upset." Anya reasoned, raising her eyebrows. " I'm very glad he was, but don't worry, I understand. He didn't know what he was talking about." She waited for Giles to speak, to tell her that was it, but when he didn't she looked away, struggling to swallow back salty tears. She was not one given to crying. Shriveling men's balls and cursing them to rot off, tended to make even the softest person harden a little.

" Hey," he put a finger beneath her chin and lifted her eyes to his. Her lips trembled, mocked her attempts to conceal emotion.

What WAS this? 

She always felt so vulnerable around him, like he could see straight through her and into her heart.

" I just hate feeling like this!" She burst out, flailing her arms, but he grabbed them, calmed them with soothing motions..

"Failing! I don't know where I went wrong with him?"

" Who says you did?"

" I tried so hard." She looked down at her chewed up nails. Frowned. " I tried to be everything he wanted me to be. But I could NEVER get it right. I.. I always said the wrong things and he'd get this look on his face…" He realized she was trembling, and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her hard, because coddling wasn't what she needed right then.

" Hey! Stop that, this instant! Don't even think about it, he's a damn fool and he knows it. You're so honest - so beautiful. Why if I had you I'd… I.." Giles trailed off, coloring slightly.

" You'd what?" She licked her lips, tasted the salt from tears she hadn't shed. There was this strange emotion spreading outward from her heart and oddly enough, she found herself staring at his lips.

She'd kissed him once. And now - an urge was digging itself up from way down deep, and no matter how confused her heart was right now, no matter how much she knew he couldn't possibly want her. Even though there was no way she wanted to kiss him…

She _really _wanted to kiss him.

His eyes were dark as her hands came up to rest on the skin of his chest. Giles took a deep breath, feeling the way her touch moved with his ribs - rising and falling. Then he bent down to kiss her, quite unable to help himself.

It was wrong, in so many ways. But really, he could only think of one. And dammit, the boy had left her at the alter, he'd given up his chance and now it was someone else's turn… so he'd kiss her… yes, he'd..

"Damn, you European men. Always thinking and re-thinking everything…" He heard her mutter, and opened eyes that had fallen shut. But her face was huge before him, all he could see. And she was kissing him. Taking him under like only once before.

_It's a good thing_, he thought. _That we're just friends. Anything more just might kill me._

The End. 

A/N: There might be a sequel to this one as well, but I'm not sure, it depends on how I'm really left feeling. It's not like there's been any resolution, but so is life - things aren't always tied up in neat little packages. So uh… feedback is always nice, I suppose. ::grins charmingly::


End file.
